Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
