So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize