You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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