Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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