Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
