i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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