for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
