It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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