I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
