Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
