she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
