yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize