We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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