I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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