There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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