remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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