Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
