Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
