stop calling my apartment porn island.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
