the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
