Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
