oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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