This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
