I hate all girls vehemently.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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