Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
