we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
