We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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