Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
