I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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