their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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