I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
