I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
