and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
