whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
