Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
