i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
