I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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