I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I woke up under a house in Key West
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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