listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
