a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
