What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
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