20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize