There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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