conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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