ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
