you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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