Me. At least after what I've been through.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
