Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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