I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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