we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize