1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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