We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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