He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
