I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
