oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
