Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i think i just lost a toe
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
