Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
