Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
