Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
