Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
