you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
FUCK WHALES
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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