Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
