At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize