Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Please don't give away my fajitas
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
