Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
