I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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