After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize