I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
