So gin and wine won't be happening again
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
